How to handle tantrum

Handling tantrums

Mommies i feel for you about the tantrum thing.....

Tantrums are very common in toddlers almost every toddler throws a tantrum every now and then but before we get into the details as to how to handle tantrums let’s just preview what a tantrum really is?

Scientifically speaking a tantrum is defined as an outburst of emotions mainly anger, frustration let me elaborate a bit more, its when our children can't really express what they are feeling ,there is a lot to learn you know, such big emotions , feelings to get hold of.....here is a list of things that you can do to handle a tantrum....

1 stay calm(who am i kidding)

the last thing you want , would be to make the situation worse and loosing your calm can do more damage so please pause for some seconds , let your brain analyse the situation quickly and act accordingly  if you want to communicate be as gentle as you can be , don’t raise your voice  trust me this powerful pause will really help you sort things out , normally we parents just act impulsively and end up worsening the situation.

2. Identifying the trigger

Tantrums are usually triggered by some situations that your child cannot handle pay close attention to what stimulates the tantrum and try to avoid such scenarios e.g many parents complain of their children throwing tantrums while shopping so it's better to shop when it's nap time for him/her , you can shop online if the thing is urgent to buy and you don't wanna go out with your little cracker....

3.prepare beforehand 

Always before leaving the house feed your child , make sure he/she is well rested , has taken a nap , check the diaper , hungry and sleepy children are more likely to throw a tantrum

3.acknowledge 

While it may seem pointless or frustrating at the moment the feelings your little one is experiencing are normal they just don’t know how to express it because their social and emotional skills are not polished yet so instead of just trying to stop it, acknowledge their feelings e.g when they drop their candy say i know its very upsetting to loose your candy ,you should be more careful next time , it happens sometimes....in this way they will know that its normal to feel sad or guilty sometimes ....

4.Don't preach

While we parents want to make every minute of our children to be a learning one , we make sure that they know the right manners and etiquette but a tantrum is probably not the best time to teach this...i have seen many parents do this and ironically it only aggravates the situation e.g ***- (child’s name) i told you its not a good thing , or don’t do this....kids only react more violently after this... 

5.distract

Although this works better for children under 3 you can try it with your preschooler  distract them with a toy , thing or activity....when going to new place always pack little snacks or toys(puzzles , soft books,removable markers and notebook) they may engage in activity and forget the drama...

6. take control

If your child gets physical or starts hitting take charge , you can lift him and move him out of that place , don’t give- in for a random  wish (although we want to fulfill our children’s every wish) granting every wish specially the tantrum one will send a wrong message that whenever you need something throw a tantrum.

7. dont worry about the looks you get

 remember its a normal part of growth to throw tantrums so the next time if any one gives you those nasty looks , just get over them either they don't have children or have forgotten about tantrum phase due to old children....

8 give choice

Most tantrums start because your child wants something and is being said  “no”  try to offer a choice if possible e.g if  he/she wants candy , offer an apple or other healthy alternative ....this may help them also don’t offer always or they’ll think of it as a way to get stuff.

9 don't instruct a lot

Most of parents make this mistake of giving too much instructions to their children like on every step , in this way the child starts feeling suffocated that he/she has no free will and they end up getting overwhelmed by it, hence throwing a tantrum

last but not the least remind yourself that you are a wonderful parent and no one can love your child more than you.....

                                     xoxo Amber